Karmatic Katastrophe

To be continued...

2010-06-20T16:33:00.002-05:00

It's my birthday. My THIRTIETH birthday. I'm not handling it well.

It's the first birthday in years that I haven't been in a relationship. I feel alone.
It was overshadowed by a friend's wedding, and family/friends deciding they're simply too busy to celebrate. I feel disposable.
I'm nowhere near where I thought I'd be at this point in life. I feel behind.

I've decided to be proactive about these feelings though.

If you've read the entire blog, then you know that I started it to catalog wedding ideas and whatnot when I was engaged a few years ago. This blog saw the end of that relationship, a mass of casual dates, and the on/off again clusterfuck that was Dell and I.

It's time for a new start. I'm leaving this blog behind. I won't delete it, as I think it's important to embrace your past, both good and bad, to grow. I just need a clean slate.

You can find me here now. http://newlifekat.blogspot.com

I hope you'll follow me.
~K

Holiday PS of the week

2010-06-20T15:44:00.003-05:00

For those of you that aren't aware, my father died 1/3/00 after a short, but painful, battle with colon cancer. Although our relationship was...tumultous, I miss him every day.

PS's

2010-06-14T14:03:00.004-05:00

PS of the week

2010-05-16T15:36:00.000-05:00

And I constantly argue with you in my head about them all.
~K

PS of the week.

2010-05-10T05:14:00.002-05:00

PS of the week

2010-04-26T15:40:00.002-05:00

When I was 4, I was seperated from my mom at Wal-Mart. I had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't get my outfit unbuttoned. I had an accident. Ever since then, 98% of the time I go into Wal-Mart, I have to go to the bathroom. Seriously.

PS of the week

2010-04-18T11:00:00.002-05:00

Thought I was the only one!
~K

PS of the week

2010-04-11T12:49:00.004-05:00

I prefer to change this to "Stop asking me to be the kinky ex I used to be."

(You thought I was gone for good, didn't ya'll?)

PS of the week

2009-11-29T00:53:00.002-06:00

PS for perusal.

2009-11-28T03:30:00.001-06:00

Like a glove...

2009-11-28T03:28:00.001-06:00

The Lovers

Just when you are about to give up hope, promises of love, romance, or sex may be made as the result of making a difficult choice or commitment. Enthusiasm for a much anticipated agreement, consummation, or arrangement could mark the beginning of a new phase, or romantic, domestic, or social relationship, and it could really feel like "the first time." Now, more than ever, opposites may attract, so try to reconcile what may appear to be a contradiction, while avoiding the temptation of indiscriminate behaviors for the sake of entertainment or immediate gratification. Celebration, sex, travel, vows, vitality, confidence, sensual warmth, or even a much hoped for pregnancy could be the way in which this decision or commitment is marked. If you are trying to renew a current relationship, remember how it was in the beginning.

And the horoscope for both of us-

FRIDAY: You'll discover that you've been on the same wavelength with someone all the time but were trying to protect each other's feelings. To restore bonds of love and affection, exercise honest communication and really talk about what you need. The Aries Moon will reveal that a fear you’ve been carrying is nothing more than smoke and mirrors, which will restore your sense of emotional balance.

2009-10-19T03:09:00.001-05:00

Sunday dinner, cuddled in the living room going through the paper together while the child reads the comics next to us. I'd kill to have that always.

2009-10-18T23:23:00.001-05:00

Addie:"I thought Mommies were unscaredable!"

2009-10-13T02:09:00.001-05:00

Sending me the same things you post on Facebook does not make up for removing and blocking me on there, fyi.

2009-10-10T03:37:00.001-05:00

What do you do when love is more of a bane than a blessing? When your prayers for near perfection go unanswered? When you realize happily ever after is 4 disney

2009-09-30T22:35:00.001-05:00

Ronce-"How'd you get only wings?" Fe-"I seperated the white meat from the dark meat." Ronce-"That is so racist."

2009-09-30T00:27:00.001-05:00

Bradley-"I can't lead you to the water, I can only tell you where it is and stuff."

2009-09-29T00:35:00.001-05:00

Fe-"I haven't had a man in a long time." Bradley-"And I'm done with this conversation."

2009-09-29T00:32:00.001-05:00

Fe-"Bradley, WHY ARE YOU MESSING WITH THE CAKE?" Bradley-"Because I have issues." Fe="...Oh."

2009-09-24T16:26:00.001-05:00

Why do you torture me like this?

2009-09-23T17:06:00.001-05:00

I wish my vagina had a spine.

2009-09-19T20:37:00.001-05:00

Mitch-"Ack! Glitter! It's the herpes of craft supplies!"

2009-09-17T11:53:00.001-05:00

Addie-"Look! The sun is glad to see me this morning!"

2009-09-09T15:19:00.001-05:00

Add-"Why does this sticker say 'Mom'?" Me-"It's upside down. It says wow."

2009-09-09T14:42:00.001-05:00

Random Addie saying-"I wish I was a hamster."

Tarot for the day

2009-09-04T12:25:00.002-05:00

The King of Chalices (reversed)

Recognize that this King may be guarding his or her emotions, or masking true motives. Vanity or ego may be getting in the way of loyalty or commitment, or keeping Him from reaching out, comforting, or offering support in a positive way, and could lead eventually to His downfall. Having charm or charisma may enable Him to lead others, but He may be using his influence to satisfy His own love of emotional power over others. Be wary of His overindulgence, outbursts, and moodiness, for this may truly be a sign of dependency that needs to be continually fed. Listen to your instincts, pay attention to your dreams, and use common sense. Resist His emotional manipulation, and the great, wise, and loving King could be reduced to one who is seen as all talk and no action with respect to his or her trustworthiness or sincerity. Don't try to manage this hurt and dissapointment alone, for once you open up, you may learn that others share your pain or experiences, and the emotional healing can begin.

Does this sound like anyone we know?

2009-08-29T18:19:00.002-05:00

Me-"What would you like for dinner, sweetie?"

Addie-"Penguin"

2009-08-27T20:59:00.002-05:00

Me-"What kind of bedtime story do you want?"

Addie-"How about me and Chuck Norris?"

2009-08-26T20:53:00.001-05:00

Emily-"If Chris* calls while I'm in the shower, tell him I'm incognito."

2009-08-22T15:07:00.001-05:00

Do you know how killer it is on the self esteem to have daily reminders that you're at the bottom of everyone's priority list?

2009-08-19T20:20:00.001-05:00

"There are lots of 14yo's my age..."-Emily, my 14yo sister.

2009-08-17T01:19:00.002-05:00

Fwd: From: Emily

Me: i love u snickle fritz

add: i love u hippotamus

me: is that a fat joke?

Add: no! Thats a really fat joke! All the way over the rainbow!

2009-08-16T21:43:00.002-05:00

Audra-"Your mom likes osmosis right?"

Me-"What?"

Audra-"You know...OJ and champagne?"

A few PS's for the collection...

2009-08-10T01:39:00.002-05:00

Tarot for today.

2009-08-10T01:34:00.001-05:00

The Nine of Wands
You might have faced some tough times, or learned some hard lessons, but now is a time for you to persevere and tap into your hidden or inner resources. Because of your stubborn refusal to give up, you may find yourself with the opportunity to remain standing after all the dust settles. No matter how difficult things may seem, recognize that you are a survivor with the strength to manifest your will. Don't let anyone or anything keep you down. This could be a last challenge or test of your character before a great victory, so don't give in to resistance yet, for you have made it this far. Everyone suffers loss of one kind or another, but it is important not to let it make you bitter, suspicious, or deceitful by putting up a wall around yourself. Take a moment to assess or reassess your goals or priorities to remember why you are doing what you are doing, as well as savoring the little victories.

2009-08-08T22:05:00.001-05:00

Pro-he's taken *outstanding* care of me this week.

2009-08-08T21:57:00.001-05:00

Pro-he always gets my door.

2009-08-01T21:20:00.002-05:00

Em-"He's already had one today."

Mom-"That's what she said."

*beat*

Kat-"Wait. What?"

2009-07-28T12:18:00.001-05:00

After snide comment to me- Kat-"There's no need to be a hooker." Em-"Yeah well...some times ya gotta eat."

2009-07-19T00:07:00.001-05:00

Man 1-How do you ask a girl if your cock has been in her mouth? Man 2-Just have her assume the position and see if that triggers your memory.

2009-07-18T23:38:00.001-05:00

Jay*-"Did I tell you my secret to dating?" Dell-"Blow her up first?"

2009-07-18T21:25:00.001-05:00

My neighbors have pulled a big screen tv into their backyard and are now broadcasting some hispanic movie for the entire neighborhood to hear...

2009-07-17T22:09:00.001-05:00

Addie:God said little kids can't do that! Me:God never said that! Addie:Well, no...but that's what he MEANT!

2009-07-13T23:57:00.001-05:00

I actually felt ok this evening. Picked up the bathroom even. Please God, let the insurance cover this medicine. ~K

PS's of the week...

2009-07-08T23:20:00.002-05:00

On the other hand...

2009-07-08T18:12:00.001-05:00

Horoscope for today- (And we're BOTH Gem's)
Plan a get together with your favorite people to restore your sense of emotional balance under tonight's harmonious Aquarius Moon.

Tarot for the Day

2009-07-08T18:09:00.004-05:00

Stress, lust, or the truth revealed may tend to give way to emotional outbursts if this Empress doesn't get what she wants, and in an effort to regain control, she may try to manipulate a domestic situation. Motherhood or nurturing may not be her "forte."

While I *would* consider mothering and nurturing a forte of mine, perhaps this means it's not a good time for the "I wanna be with you, damn it." talk post drunken sex. :/

2009-07-05T19:26:00.001-05:00

I just quoted Firefly to my kid.

Things I'm suddenly without due to recall of relationship status-

2009-07-05T14:16:00.004-05:00

-laundry facilities
-hot showers
-internet access
-true blood
-yummy breakfasts
-cuddling
-intelligent conversation
-compliments
-non self induced orgasms
-my best friend

2009-07-04T10:59:00.001-05:00

Happy Independence Day! If you're a rich, white, Christian male. If not happy day you eat too much, literally burn up your $, all w/ family you can't stand!

2009-07-03T20:31:00.001-05:00

Addie on religion-"When people die, if they don't go to Heaven, they go to Candyland."

2009-07-03T00:55:00.003-05:00

(2/2) smokes that's a dog that's bound for the Chinese buffet.

2009-07-03T00:55:00.001-05:00

(1/2) I didn't say much when he snacked on a Barbie. I complained but didn't do anything when he ate the cord to my vibe. However, a dog that eats a pack of

2009-07-02T19:31:00.001-05:00

It says a lot about your life when your landlady and her family are more concerned about your obvious depression than your own friends and family.

:(

2009-07-01T13:18:00.001-05:00

It's my daddy's birthday. I miss him.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

2009-06-30T20:20:00.004-05:00

Contrary to what American Apparel would like you to believe, the hotness of the cleavage is offset by the presense of scrunchies. And them some.

Looks like an outtake from "The Trouble With Tribbles"
~K

2009-06-30T20:11:00.000-05:00

Dell: I wanna make an Ebonics Rosetta Stone!

2009-06-30T20:09:00.000-05:00

They say celebs die in threes. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

2009-06-29T03:33:00.001-05:00

"You should try the chicken fried steak. It's like a chicken and a steak had a baby. A delicious, crispy baby!"

PS, part three

2009-06-28T22:45:00.004-05:00

I've actually known quite a few people who had fucked up childhoods, and therefore, do not want children. I went the opposite route, figuring that with the best experience on what NOT to do, it should be a piece of cake. It's not, but it's still totally worth it.

PS, part two

2009-06-28T22:43:00.002-05:00

Some good, some bad...all worth it.

PS of the week, part one

2009-06-28T22:41:00.001-05:00

You'll find this amusing. I find it concerning.
~K

Roleplaying gone horridly wrong...

2009-06-28T21:15:00.001-05:00

Mr. X-(Jimmy Stewart impression) Every time I bust a nut, an angel gets it's wings!

The other half of Addie's genetic code

2009-06-28T21:14:00.002-05:00

David: Michael and Billy probably staged this so they could go wash african kids clothes with oxi-clean or something.

Tarot for today

2009-06-28T20:11:00.001-05:00

The Six of Wands (reversed)
Listen to your intuition, feed your spiritual needs, be aware of lucid dreams, and don't use your health or current status as an excuse for not advancing further than you already have. It could be that you are stuck; somehow, re-living past "glories," or believe that you have already done your part. Opportunities for success are all around you, but you need to be sure that any credit or blame given to you is deserved, or else the praise or publicity may lead to false pride, which in turn could become either to arrogance, stubbornness, or a feeling of "always the bridesmaid, never the bride." Speaking of which, you may be expected to go to a place where you are supposed to feel welcome, but won't. If your energy is stabilized, this could be a pivotal point, so be prepared to take a stand. Work first on vindicating yourself, to yourself, learn to hold your head high, and you can turn almost any challenge into a triumph!

Dead fucking on.
~K

2009-06-26T16:54:00.001-05:00

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone. For the cold, hard earth must borrow her mirth, but she has enough troubles of her own."-EWW

2009-06-25T19:16:00.001-05:00

Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Liar. User. Pathetic. Pick the one i dont actually feel.

2009-06-23T23:00:00.001-05:00

Deep thoughts ala True Blood-"When you love someone, you gotta love all of them. Otherwise, it ain't love."

2009-06-21T17:57:00.001-05:00

Why I love Jennifer Weiner-"Hefty? Hefty is a trash bag. I'm festively plump."

Birthday Memoirs

2009-06-21T15:48:00.003-05:00

So, for those of you that managed to escape my constant reminders, my twenty-ninth birthday was yesterday. Spent the morning at Dell's (been here since Weds eve), then Watson ran me on some errands. Stopped by to see my grandpa, who sent food home, because, between him and and my mother's constant guilt trips, we're suddenly Jewish?!?

Went back to Dell's to get ready, and walked in to a beautiful daisy. I was then brought a cake, and a card, and the best gifts ever, Certain Girls, and Little Earthquakes. Remember me saying I wanted them here? So, it wasn't just the gifts themselves, but the fact that he pay attention. :)

Head to Dave and Buster's to meet up with some friends, but it was packed. Played games while waiting for a table, and Dell won me a watch at one of those claw machines! Got texts and calls from Cass, and learned that she'd had an altercation with some guy who cut in front of her kid, resulting in her saying something, him running his mouth, her punching him a couple of times in the arm, and then beating a hasty retreat.

Dell, Tine, and I grabbed dinner there, and then decided to head elsewhere for more entertainment. We wound up at The Clarette Club, a pool hall that had karaoke last night. Tine and I sang some, then we all parted ways. Dell and I came home, ate cake, had rum, and had a wonderful night. :)

Pics should be on the sidebar, if PhotoBucket is working with me.

Thanks to everyone for the well wishes, cards, favors, and gifts. Ya'll are awesome. Especially Dell. :)

~K

PS-Cass is now moonlighting as a henchman. Contact me for more info. :P

PS of the week

2009-06-21T02:55:00.003-05:00

Afraid? Maybe not. In awe, furious with, shaking my head at? Yeah.

For all of you that still have Daddies though, make sure to call/text/email/write, eh?

2009-06-20T14:45:00.002-05:00

Fwd:
From: Watson
Sent: Jun 20 2:21PM
Msg: That chick in the lime top is hot.

Fwd:
From: Watson
Sent: Jun 20 2:22PM
Msg: Um... Nevermind. She turned around.

2009-06-19T19:54:00.001-05:00

Dell: I'm like JayZ. Money ainta thang.

2009-06-19T17:53:00.001-05:00

Dell: Hey, those people are from PA. Maybe they're Quakers. Maybe they eat oatmeal every day.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

2009-06-18T12:28:00.001-05:00

Kat: Wtf is a ginger?!?
Watson: A Ginger is a person with red hair, fair skin.
Kat: So like, half my relatives. Gotcha.
Watson: Lol.
Kat: Mick wasn't good enough? We gotta color code our racial slurs now?!?

In response to your response...

2009-06-18T05:47:00.005-05:00

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own-U2

Tough, you think you've got the stuff

You're telling me and anyone

You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight

You don't have to always be right

Let me take some of the punches

For you tonight

Listen to me now

I need to let you know

You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror

And it's you when I don't pick up the phone

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time

You and I...that's alright

We're the same soul

I don't need...I don't need to hear you say

That if we weren't so alike

You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now

I need to let you know

You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror

And it's you when I don't pick up the phone

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk

I'm sick of it all

Can - you - hear - me - when - I -

Sing, you're the reason I sing

You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?

I've still got to let you know

A house still doesn't make a home

Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror

And it's you that makes it hard to let go

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Sometimes you can't make it

The best you can do is to fake it

Sometimes you can't make it on your own

PS of the week

2009-06-17T22:30:00.003-05:00

As silly as it seems, given the circumstances, that's how much faith I have that we CAN work. I don't expect it of course, but know that I would.

Theater roles I've had-

2009-06-16T02:40:00.004-05:00

A busy mom in the third grade Christmas program
Some girl who loved parades in the sixth grade play
Reporter #2 in Bye, Bye Birdie
Birdie Eulalie Shinn in The Music Man
Kanga in Winnie the Pooh

Theater roles I've always wanted-

2009-06-16T02:35:00.004-05:00

Lady MacBeth-Macbeth
Olive-The Odd Couple (female version)
The mom in Fiddler on the Roof
Titania-Midsummer's Night Dream
Miss Hannigan-Annie

2009-06-13T17:27:00.001-05:00

Emily-"Will you tell her to stop holding the food handicapped.....er...hostage?"

2009-06-09T01:49:00.001-05:00

I'm too pissed to be sleepy. Damn it.

PS's of the week

2009-06-06T06:25:00.001-05:00

So perfect it's scary...

2009-06-06T06:02:00.001-05:00

Kat, here's your Tarot Reading for 6/6/2009

The Eight of Swords

You should begin to overcome feelings of being boxed in, confined, or restricted within a relationship or situation. Currently, your mind may be prisoner of your own fear of the unknown, so you may feel that your situation is hopeless or futile. Realize that it is the attitude of "yes, but...," "I can't," or "I don't deserve..." that might trap you in what finally could become intolerable circumstances. You need to take off the blinders, and break free. Your potential has probably been interfered with long enough, and you need to recognize that you don't need to be a "savior" or require "rescue" a moment longer!

Birthday

2009-06-03T18:52:00.003-05:00

Birthday wish list-
Certain girls and Little Earthquakes (to complete my Jennifer Weiner collection)
Paper for pastels, fixer (for the one art thing I'm good at)

2009-05-31T23:36:00.003-05:00

(2/2) and in a way, I guess I was." Landed-Ben Folds

2009-05-31T23:36:00.001-05:00

(1/2) "The daily dramas he made from nothing so that nothing ever seemed enough. He liked to push me, talk me back down 'til I believed I was the crazy one...

2009-05-30T20:32:00.001-05:00

Dell: Everything I know about psychology I learned from Gen Psych 101...and Silence of the Lambs.

2009-05-28T13:41:00.004-05:00

Addie: Do you wear a bra to keep your breasts warm?
Kat: No, they hold them up.
A: Oh. Some need help and some don't?
Emily: Right. There are independent boobs and needy boobs.

2009-05-28T00:03:00.001-05:00

As much as I love snuggling with Dell while we sleep, I'm glad to have the entire Queen sized bed to myself. ~K

2009-05-27T18:58:00.001-05:00

Yay! My brother just told me i could have his bike. Mark that off the list!

2009-05-27T17:02:00.001-05:00

Birthday wish list- Bike and bike trailer (for Addie) Paint Curtains Kitchen towels Dishes I am officially old. ~K

Hrm.

2009-05-27T10:31:00.003-05:00

Well, as you might be able to tell, posting from my phone leaves a tad to be desired. Eh, it'll work for now. You can see I've been having some fun redecorating too! Forgive the temporary lack of color matching...Blogger and I are having a battle of wills...and thus far, they're winning.

~K

2009-05-26T23:29:00.003-05:00

(1/2) My dear readers- You'll be happy to learn that I've set up mobile blogging. That's right, my lack of internet shall not keep the world from my insight.

2009-05-26T23:29:00.001-05:00

(2/2) God help you all. ~K

Not that she'll ever read my blog....

2009-05-26T12:13:00.002-05:00

Misery Business-Paramore

I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top

She's got a body like an hourglass that's tickin like a clock

It's a matter of time before we all run out...

When I thought he was mine she caught him by the mouth

I waited eight long months

She finally set him free

I told him I can't lie he was the only one for me

Two weeks and we had caught on fire

She's got it out for me

But I wear the biggest smile

Whoa, I never meant to brag

But I got him where I want him now

Whoa, it was never my intention to brag

To steal it all away from you now

But God does it feel so good

Cause I got him where I want him now

And if you could then you know you would

Cause God it just feels so...

It just feels so good

I watched his wildest dreams come true

Not one of them involving you

Just watch my wildest dreams come true

Not one of them involving...

Whew.

2009-05-26T12:11:00.001-05:00

My net access is few and far between lately. Additionally, Post Secret has sucked lately, so there haven't been many updates. I'll be posting some songs today though. Take the crumbs I feed you, people. :)
~K

PS of the week

2009-05-11T16:23:00.002-05:00

PS of the week

2009-05-04T15:58:00.002-05:00

PS of the week

2009-04-27T12:54:00.002-05:00

Leave it to an Irishman to make me cry...

2009-04-20T16:03:00.001-05:00

Magnificent - U2

Magnificent
Magnificent  

I was born
I was born to be with you
 In this space and time
 After that and ever after I haven't had a clue
 Only to break rhyme
This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue

  Only love, only love can leave such a mark 
But only love, only love can heal such a scar 

I was born
I was born to sing for you
 I didn't have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice
From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise ...

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
 But only love, only love can heal such a scar 

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
 The Magnificent
 Magnificent 

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
 But only love, only love unites our hearts  

Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent 
Magnificent
 Magnificent 

Karmatic Katastrophe

To be continued...

Holiday PS of the week

PS's

PS of the week

PS of the week.

PS of the week

PS of the week

PS of the week

PS of the week

PS for perusal.

Like a glove...

Tarot for the day

A few PS's for the collection...

Tarot for today.

PS's of the week...

On the other hand...

Tarot for the Day

Things I'm suddenly without due to recall of relationship status-

:(

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

PS, part three

PS, part two

PS of the week, part one

Roleplaying gone horridly wrong...

The *other* half of Addie's genetic code

Tarot for today

Birthday Memoirs

PS of the week

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

In response to your response...

PS of the week

Theater roles I've had-

Theater roles I've always wanted-

PS's of the week

So perfect it's scary...

Birthday

Hrm.

Not that she'll ever read my blog....

Whew.

PS of the week

PS of the week

PS of the week

Leave it to an Irishman to make me cry...

Magnificent - U2

The other half of Addie's genetic code