-Do not feel the need to mention in the first hour of the date that you're still in love with your ex girlfriend.
-If said ex-girlfriend calls while you are on date, do not answer.
-If you do answer, keep call brief. Leaving the table for twenty minutes to talk to her is frowned on.
-Feel free not to mention the fact that you had intercourse with afore mentioned ex the night previous to date.
-Do not think that saying "Hey, at least I'm honest!" excuses the above listed behavior.
~K
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
Bad pick up lines
"Yeah I only pick up one night stands at bars. You can't meet a good chick at a bar. Oh, wanna dance?"
True story.
~K
True story.
~K
Oi
I'm in the process of moving. What this means is that all my belongings are in a storage shed while I wait for the sale to close on the property I'll be living in. In the interm, I'm staying at my mothers, which is Hell, for many, varied reasons. One of these is the odd little memories that pop up.
I was a latchkey kid before they started using that word. From second grade on, after school I would go home to an empty house and await my parent's return home. On one such afternoon, I happened to be in a dress that , in addition to my hating it, required a second person to undo the back buttons. Being that no one was there to assist, and wouldn't be for two plus hours, I came up with what I thought was a great idea. I cut myself out of said dress.
Needless to say, my parents were not pleased. Somehow, and I've never learned the why's or when's, my mother felt the need to share this with my teacher. In a fit of rage one day, Mrs. Borland threw it up in my face as an example of how stupid I was, in front of the whole class, who laughed and jeered.
I'm not sure who I hated more that day: the teacher or my mother.
~K
I was a latchkey kid before they started using that word. From second grade on, after school I would go home to an empty house and await my parent's return home. On one such afternoon, I happened to be in a dress that , in addition to my hating it, required a second person to undo the back buttons. Being that no one was there to assist, and wouldn't be for two plus hours, I came up with what I thought was a great idea. I cut myself out of said dress.
Needless to say, my parents were not pleased. Somehow, and I've never learned the why's or when's, my mother felt the need to share this with my teacher. In a fit of rage one day, Mrs. Borland threw it up in my face as an example of how stupid I was, in front of the whole class, who laughed and jeered.
I'm not sure who I hated more that day: the teacher or my mother.
~K
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