My tarot card for the day...

Now, I've been signed up for this tarot card thing since 2001, and only recently have actually started reading them. They've been surprisingly accurate, to the point of being a little creepy. This is today's:

The Chariot (reversed)
You may be distracted, fickle, or in a rut, or continue to invest time or energy in pursuit of vain, exciting, cocky, or overly confident partners, who are either out of your league or undeserving. Watch for the influence of another such "winner;" one who may require constant approval, nurturing, spectacle, or support; but this one might use you to get out of his or her own slump, or boost his or her own confidence and popularity rating. Be prepared to "bow" out gracefully should it be discovered that rather than a relationship, this romantic, domestic, or social influence was in it for the challenge, trophy, immediate gratification, or status.

The reason I mention this....this is a big issue of mine. I can't tell you how many guys I've dated, or guy friends I've had, that I've done EVERYTHING that I can to try to help them emotionally, to rebuild them after something/one has torn them down. I'm a fixer. Always have been. I'm the chick that will tell you how nice your new haircut looks, how wrong it was that you were passed over for that promotion, that it was your ex girlfriend who was crazy, not you. (Now, to clarify, I won't say these things if I don't actually BELIEVE them.) And so it goes. At first you're uncomfortable thinking that you're special....then you start to like it....then you need it. The issue is, that appears to be my sole position in your life. We only talk when you need that rush of a self esteem boost. As soon as you're "healed" we either slowly drift away or you just find a new girl and neither of us wants to stick around to see how THAT works out.

Romantic or platonic, it's the same thing. As annoying as it is, you have to look at it and see that what these guys all have in common....is me. I'm the MCD. It's MY fault for allowing this to happen. And yeah, it's nice knowing that I help these people regain some self confidence....but what about MINE?
~K

"Selfishly hated, No wonder you're jaded.
You can't play the victim this time."
Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescense