Two tears in a bucket....

Ever find one of those songs that perfectly describes how you're feeling at that moment? Nate tells me this is more a female thing than male, but I think he just has no soul.

This is the song of the moment. There's a certain amount of irony in the title that some of you will get.

Beautiful Disaster - Jon McLaughlin

She loves her momma's lemonade

Hates the sounds that goodbyes make

She prays one day she'll find someone to need her

She swears there's no difference

between the lies and compliments

It's all the same if everybody leaves her

And all the magazines tells her she's not good enough

The pictures that she sees makes her cry

She would change everything, everything, just ask her

Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster

She just needs someone to take her home

She's giving boys what they want

Trying to act so nonchalant

Afraid to see that she's lost her direction

She never stays the same for long

Assuming that she'll get it wrong

Perfect only in her imperfection

She's not a drama queen

She doesn't wanna feel this way

Only 17 and tired, yeah

She would change everything for happy ever after

Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster

She just needs someone to take her home

She's just the way she is

But no one's told her that's okay

She would change everything, everything, just ask her

Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster

She would change everything for happy ever after

Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster

She just needs someone to take her home

She just needs someone to take her home

~K

The cosmos can kiss my ass

SATURDAY: Sharing your deepest feelings with a loved one will demonstrate your willingness to let people get closer to you, which will generate an atmosphere of intimacy and trust.


FUCK THAT!
~K

"I can't wait forever is all that you said
Before you stood up
And you won't disappoint me
I can do that myself"
Glen Hansard - Leave

My tarot card for the day...

Now, I've been signed up for this tarot card thing since 2001, and only recently have actually started reading them. They've been surprisingly accurate, to the point of being a little creepy. This is today's:

The Chariot (reversed)
You may be distracted, fickle, or in a rut, or continue to invest time or energy in pursuit of vain, exciting, cocky, or overly confident partners, who are either out of your league or undeserving. Watch for the influence of another such "winner;" one who may require constant approval, nurturing, spectacle, or support; but this one might use you to get out of his or her own slump, or boost his or her own confidence and popularity rating. Be prepared to "bow" out gracefully should it be discovered that rather than a relationship, this romantic, domestic, or social influence was in it for the challenge, trophy, immediate gratification, or status.

The reason I mention this....this is a big issue of mine. I can't tell you how many guys I've dated, or guy friends I've had, that I've done EVERYTHING that I can to try to help them emotionally, to rebuild them after something/one has torn them down. I'm a fixer. Always have been. I'm the chick that will tell you how nice your new haircut looks, how wrong it was that you were passed over for that promotion, that it was your ex girlfriend who was crazy, not you. (Now, to clarify, I won't say these things if I don't actually BELIEVE them.) And so it goes. At first you're uncomfortable thinking that you're special....then you start to like it....then you need it. The issue is, that appears to be my sole position in your life. We only talk when you need that rush of a self esteem boost. As soon as you're "healed" we either slowly drift away or you just find a new girl and neither of us wants to stick around to see how THAT works out.

Romantic or platonic, it's the same thing. As annoying as it is, you have to look at it and see that what these guys all have in common....is me. I'm the MCD. It's MY fault for allowing this to happen. And yeah, it's nice knowing that I help these people regain some self confidence....but what about MINE?
~K

"Selfishly hated, No wonder you're jaded.
You can't play the victim this time."
Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescense

Nollaig Shona Dhuit!

Just wanted to wish everyone a merry Christmas....if that's your thing. If not, then happy extra day off from work. Look for updates Weds!
~K
"Do yourself a favor and take the rare opportunity to share a moment or two with those around you. Me and Jesus want you to. But mostly Jesus."
Ryan Sohmer

Define "irony"

Courtney Love was in the movie Sid and Nancy.

How fucking odd is that?

PostSecret of the week, and Weekend Update

The events of the past few months really made this strike home for me. Ending toxic friendships, starting the new business, all of it....the start of a new life...and I like it!

This weekend was pretty ok. Friday we saw the movie, then had dinner at Panera, came home and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Saturday was yucky weather wise, but we wanted out so we ran some errands and had breakfast/dinner at Chubby's (our restraunt...where we sat in our booth...and played our song.) That ended with an arguement about the war, because sometimes men just *can't* be wrong. We came home for a bit, then headed to the grocery store with Addie to get some stuff for dinner. Came back, ate, and watched Fear and Loathing, then Nathan went to bed. I wound up staying up all night reading, and woke him up around 10. He dropped me off for breakfast with my mom and sister, then the three of us went Christmas shopping. Got Addie's kitchen, and stocking stuffers for my mom. We grabbed dinner and they dropped me off. Addie and I crashed out at 10.

Uneventful really.

Tomorrow Nathan and I are viewing a free showing of the movie Juno which might be fun. Sunday is Christmas with my extended family, Monday night at Mom's, then Tuesday everyone is coming over here. Insanity. I've decided I'm not having a shindig here after all. I'm rounding up a crew and checking out the VooDoo Lounge's NYE bash instead. Tickets are only $30, and hell, I'd spend more than that putting something on here. Let me know if you wanna go!

~K
"You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna have me on your hands."
Raoul Duke - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Is rape against self just masterbation?

So tonight we went to see I Am Legend. If you're at all familar with the book, I do NOT reccomend it. I was beyond disappointed.
One of the things that I like best about Matheson is that he wants to be part of the book to movie adaptation to preserve his works. I have huge respect for an author that doesn't just cash the royalty check and go on his merry way leaving his works to be raped and plundered. He's said that he was overly happy with this version, and I was expecting perfection.

What I got was tripe.

Now, I should have seen this coming. Matheson actually did the screenplay for "The Last Man On Earth" in 1964, which was the original version, with Vincent Price. That was almost word for word from book.....but Matheson wasn't happy with it, so he had Omega Man made in '72. The fact that the version that was practically reading from the book wasn't good enough should have clued me in that the author wanted to change the story 50 years later.

The ending was changed soooo much, that the title was killed. "I am Legend" had one meaning in the book, but in the movie, that part was totally ignored, thus, a quick cheesy meaning had to be concocted. Sooo much was left out, a lot of it relevant to the original story.

I asked Nate, post viewing, if it was still considered rapage, if it was the raper's work.

All in all, I lost a lot of respect for Matheson tonight...and that hurts me.


He's so not getting a Christmas card this year.
~K

http://www.premiere.com/moviereviews/4320/i-am-legend.html

(I agree completely!)

Random Addie-speak

A: I love you so much, Momma.
K: I love you too, Saggy Britches
A: HEY! I do NOT have britches! I am a LADY!

Addie birthday

Hey all. Just ignore this post. Addie's birthday is a month after Christmas, and since I'm done with her for Christmas, I wanted a place to keep a list of ideas for her birthday that I can access from anywhere. :)

-Barbie movies
-Ballet shoes and outfits
-Doll house
-table and chair set

A-ha!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071211/ap_on_re_us/word_of_the_year

This, coupled with my mother using both "meh" and " :/ " yesterday are signs that my way of life is finally considered socially acceptable! Next, let's try for gay marriage!

Just a wee bit o' chat

It's five in the morning, and I'm still up. Why, you may ask? Because I just watched the first half of Big Love, and plan to get the other half to finish tomorrow. I watch very little TV, and this is one of the few shows that actually captured my interested. I suggest checking it out. I'm currently watching Angela's Ashes, because we have one of those Blockbuster Rewards program things, so I get a free Favorites rental with every new release rental. I also got "Barbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses" for Short Stuff, because I rock like that. Guess who was Supermudder tonight?

Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to catalog the movies I've seen recently and reccomend, but for tonight, I leave you with the quote that I just heard from the movie, that made me want to make this post to record it for prosperities sake. It ties in to the PS of the week.
~K

"A happy childhood is hardly worth the while."
Frank McCourt

Just one more thing....

Thought you guys might like to see the Christmas pics.

http://www.geocities.com/katransue/christmaspics.html

~K

Finally, it's happened to me...(aka Weekend Update)

I have finally broken down and joined the masses of the lazy. That's right dear readers, I'm typing this on my laptop....IN BED. Not that I've been to sleep yet, but hey...still in bed. Tragically, I now have stayed up so late I'm not the least bit sleepy, so I think I shall attempt some house cleaning while awake. That should knock me out in no time. Manual labor has that affect on me.

So...this weekend.
Friday was the office warming party. "Office?" you say. "What office?" Well, I broke down and took a leap of faith. I've started my own event planning business. I've registered a domain name, am in process of designing a web page, and have secured office space in Wesport. I'm a real businesswoman now. The shindig was a nice little affair, with friends coming out to see the space and show their support. The desk hasn't made it to the office yet, but that wound up being a good thing. As it was, we had so many people we were spilling into the lobby. Luckily, it was late so the building was empty. All in all, it was a great start to what will hopefully be a wonderful and lucrative career for me. :)

After the shindig, Nathan and I rented some movies and stayed up until 5 am watching them. We've rented quite a few lately, and some are worth checking out, so I think I'm going to make a sidebar of movies viewed and reccomended. He stayed the night, and we slept WAAAY in Saturday.

I was supposed to have a reunion planning meeting back in my home town, but luckily it was cancelled due to the ice. I got up at 1, he at 2, and we fittered around the house for a bit. The plan was to spend the weekend at my mom's, but I wasn't going to go because of the weather...until Nathan started making noises about heading home, and I realized I was bored stiff already. Being iced in with a toddler is not an encouraging thing, lemme tell ya. Long story short, he took Short Stuff and I down to Mom's, where Auj and her youngest happen to be staying ATM. (Long story) I cooked dinner for everyone, then we decorated her house for Christmas. We crashed there and in the morning I made breakfast for everyone. Nathan came and picked us up, and the rest of Sunday was spent lounging around....though I did a little cleaning.

All in all, it was a nice relaxing weekend, regardless of the shitty weather here. I also want to point out it's the third weekend in a row I've spent at my mom's with no bloodshed! That's gotta be a record!

Let's hope I have something more exciting to report later in the week.
~K

SS: I wanna talk to him.
K: Who? Santa?
SS: Yeah.
K: Ok, we'll go see him on Friday, ok?
SS: Yay! And I can ask him if I can open my Christmas presents! And he will say YES! Yay!
(Something different. Bit of Addie-convo)

PostSecret of the Week

I realize that it's been a few weeks since I've done this. I've been rather busy and will post more as to why later tonight...hopefully.

This week's secret really struck home. As I've gotten older I've noticed that my generation differs greatly from the previous one of our parents, in that it's social acceptable to discuss your traumatic childhoods. While the past 20+ years, things were to be kept hush-hush, persons this day and age are comfortable chatting about dysfunction over a casual cup of coffee. While I believe that everything that you've gone through has made you the person you are today, and that if you're ok with who you are, you have to accept EVERY part of it, not just the good things....it's nice being able to see that almost every family is just as fuckered up as mine. :)

~K

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn

By fools in old-style hats and coats,

Who half the time were soppy-stern

And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.

It deepens like a coastal shelf.

Get out as early as you can,

And don't have any kids yourself."

This be the Verse-Phillip Larkin

(I love this poem, though I don't agree with the last line.)